8-29-09

"When the power of love

overcomes

the love of power, the world will know

peace."

~Jimi Hendrix

8-27-09

everywhere to go and nowhere to hide

my panic is evaporating

the remainder of my mind

dissect it's cold torture and find thawing hearts

the burn of inevitability

from which I cannot part

my rocks shaking, my head a swirling void

I'm choking on my caged animals

those from which now I can't avoid

consequences of indifference

poison the only thing left

on living past the tears

that never came to wash away

my self-dignified immodesty

and to the souls of all who drink of it

may it wash away your fears.

Product never guaranteed

drink in the honor of my frozen blood

plea to nothingness that it takes me back

to be washed out of my sinful mud

is to shine to all what I lack.

8-27-09

cold fire spits at my walls-

walls of indestructible indifference,

but I bleed watery shame for the things

they hold.

reality is never so if you don't believe.

my glass walls bubble me in

hold me when no on else

seems to be around,

bounce my cries back to me

when no one is there

to listen.

so I cannot abandon the ones who

let my fears be my comfort.

forcing me to learn

from my ever growing mistakes.

holding me down, not letting me

feel the crying pain,

the destroyer I see all around.

Every time I open the treacherous door

(which I have done oh so many times)

the pressure of a thousand breaths

I've ignored

crush in around me.

My walls keep me safe.

Ignorance is a disaster,

Knowledge is key,

But indifference is a savior.

Indifference shields the weak.

6-28-09

http://mypointeofview.blogspot.com/2009/06/up-above-world-you-fly-like-teatray-in.html

6-23-09

Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world

~Tears For Fears

6-5-09

Drowning In Reality

Things are crashing down inside of me

falling and not getting back up.

falling into myself with no support,

discovering that someone took my training wheels away,

seeing through the fingers of the hand that covers my eyes,

opening a locked door,

walking in on what I don't want to know,

watching the walls fall around me to reveal a darkness.

And knowing it was there all along.

things held close to my heart are torn and broken.

my frozen heart melts

and I discover it was just ice the whole time.

the air around me thinning from deceit and misconception.

my chest crushes into me

trying to  find comfort in my heart

but he is just as shaken.

no floor to stand upon.

no plan, no structure, that I know is there.

seeing through my glass floor this whole time

has made me what I think is strong.

but not until someone shattered it,

and I was devoured by the world, did I realize,

the difference between seeing and feeling.

and when reality covers you like a wave

crushing your bones

washing away your skin

you know why people let the waves carry them.

and your tears are mixed with the hatred that you are bathing in

and your wings are torn off by the current

and defying gravity seems like dark dream

when you are being pulled under.

you are washed ashore to find that sharks took your legs

there's no way back to the pool you once joyfully splashed in

when the destructive ocean has corrupted you so.

your wings are lost at sea.

the island is place of lost hope and dead wonder.

billions of people with steel shields and melted hearts

sit in the mud, blind, with no tongues.

your losing your heart as it flies to the clouds,

your tongue starts losing its strength.

you search desperately for a way off

until your twisted choices are clear

swim through the raging ocean to your wings

or stay right here.

4-14-09

Landslide

I took my love, I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
til the landslide brought it down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? 
Can the child within my heart rise above? 
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? 
Can I handle the seasons of my life? 

Well, Ive been afraid of changing cause ive
Built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And Im getting older, too

Well, Ive been afraid of changing cause ive
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And Im getting older, too
I get older, too

I took my love and took it down
I climbed a mountain, I turned around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
The landslide brought it down
The landslide brought it down

~ Smashing Pumpkins

4-7-09

www.neoncitylights.blogspot.com

4-4-09

4-3-09

Red is for remembrance

red is for pain.

I can't enjoy Sun as I think about the rain.

I can't enjoy heat when I think about cold.

I can't enjoy now when I think about then.

My thoughts are tied up

and the nauseous feeling that comes with remembrance

forces me to forget.

And I think about all that I've lost

And all that I will loose.

And I start to cry

until I decide to put it off until tomorrow.

And then I think about how that got me here

And how I will never forgive myself for

not enjoying the moment

and not remembering the past

and I die a little inside

when a hear a familiar song.

Because memories cannot be relived

and even the good ones

are painful to remember.

And I breathe familiar air

and trudge through familiar routines

and I am crying all the time

thinking about how I took everything for granted

for all those years.

And how I didn't know who I was

for all those years.

And it will soon be gone.

And never the same.

How can I look up

when I don't even know what's around me?

How can I open my eyes to the rich life that pulls me

in every direction

for 8 bitter years

when I only have one year to live my life?

Before it changes?

And I can't face the present

for fear I'll remember it one day.

4-2-09

I'm losing myself.

So caught up in the things around me I forget they're there

trying so hard to focus on the important things that I go

too far the other way

and get my priorities

scrambled and confused.

and in trying to find my self

I loose sight in the important things

and in trying to see the truth

I get lost in a mind that is not my own.

And it is too thick with white noise

and screaming voices

to see clearly.

The colors of the world are

blinding me

until I only see in black and white.

And then what?

Where, then, is my yellow brick road?

All my bricks are red.

So I'll build my own road

that no one has followed

because I need to find a way back to myself.

And maybe Dorothy needs a change of scenery.

1-9-09

1-9-09

1-8-09

"In order to show that a hypothesis is evident, it does not suffice that all the phenomena follow from it; instead, if it leads to something contrary to a single one of the phenomena, that suffices to establish its falsity."

~Blaise Pascal, 1648