6-5-09

Drowning In Reality

Things are crashing down inside of me

falling and not getting back up.

falling into myself with no support,

discovering that someone took my training wheels away,

seeing through the fingers of the hand that covers my eyes,

opening a locked door,

walking in on what I don't want to know,

watching the walls fall around me to reveal a darkness.

And knowing it was there all along.

things held close to my heart are torn and broken.

my frozen heart melts

and I discover it was just ice the whole time.

the air around me thinning from deceit and misconception.

my chest crushes into me

trying to  find comfort in my heart

but he is just as shaken.

no floor to stand upon.

no plan, no structure, that I know is there.

seeing through my glass floor this whole time

has made me what I think is strong.

but not until someone shattered it,

and I was devoured by the world, did I realize,

the difference between seeing and feeling.

and when reality covers you like a wave

crushing your bones

washing away your skin

you know why people let the waves carry them.

and your tears are mixed with the hatred that you are bathing in

and your wings are torn off by the current

and defying gravity seems like dark dream

when you are being pulled under.

you are washed ashore to find that sharks took your legs

there's no way back to the pool you once joyfully splashed in

when the destructive ocean has corrupted you so.

your wings are lost at sea.

the island is place of lost hope and dead wonder.

billions of people with steel shields and melted hearts

sit in the mud, blind, with no tongues.

your losing your heart as it flies to the clouds,

your tongue starts losing its strength.

you search desperately for a way off

until your twisted choices are clear

swim through the raging ocean to your wings

or stay right here.